Is grace a bad word?
Jessica Doering 
Let's explore why grace is so often considered a "bad word" with teachers, and how we can answer this objection to trauma-informed care.
Grace is the worst. At least, that's what I've seen posted about in teacher forums online. Man, some teachers REALLY hate that word. But why? Let's dig into why grace has become a bad word and what we should do about it.
For some teachers, grace means they have to let students get away with anything. No consequences, no discipline, just give grace and move on. And that's not always a bad thing. We expect this in many of our relationships. If we snap at our spouse, we want them to forgive us and move on without consequences, right? We want friends to forgive us for not texting back or for being super annoying when we are overwhelmed. So it's reasonable that sometimes we would just look past student misconduct, right? But it's also reasonable that teachers feel like having grace means letting go of expectations and having no consequences ever. And that's not what it means (at least, that's not what we mean here at The Doering Institute).
You see, grace should come alongside high expectations. That's our model here at The Doering Institute. We know that students are capable of meeting high (but not unrealistic) expectations, and don't believe compromising them is healthy or helpful. Go back to the time you snapped at your spouse or friend and expected forgiveness and grace. If you did that every day and never changed, then their grace for you would be enabling your bad behavior. It wouldn't help you with other relationships. It wouldn't help you in your career. And it wouldn't be fair to them! So they probably say that we can move on from that transgression, but expect better from you. Right? Or at least that's an unspoken expectation. Same for our students. We should give them grace and yet still have high expectations for their behavior, attitudes, and actions. (And unlike many of those unspoken expectations in your other relationships, these expectations should be clearly defined and communicated!)
Grace has become a bad word for many teachers, but we here at TDI are bringing it back to its original meaning--giving people unearned and undeserved forgiveness or second chances. But we pair this with holding students accountable for their behavior and having high, reasonable expectations. We know it's hard to walk in this balance, but we believe in it so much because it truly has the power to change students lives. Live in compassion, grace, and understand and you'll change the world.
Want to learn more about teaching with grace and high expectations? Check out this great resource! Wanting something more in depth that is still affordable? Check out our self-paced online training here.